High School Music-Drama

Hey-ho lumberjacks! Réjean Pinard High is looking for ideas for this year’s musical! If you have an idea, fill out the following form below and submit it to Mr. Spigot, Ms. Frontenac or any student on the Réjean Pinard High Musical committee.

Submitted by (Name, Grade, Homeroom):

Francis List, 11^th Grade, Home Room 7A

My Idea for the 2014 Musical Is:

Richard Wagner’s The Ring of the Nibelung tetralogy.

The Duration of My Musical is:

14-16 Hours, depending on the style of our conductor. Lacking the genius of a Furtwängler or a von Karajan, I will settle for whatever rice-crispy fueled interpretation Ms. Frontenac is capable of producing.

I Think The Students, Faculty, Teachers and Their Families Would Love This Musical Because:

Let me preface this justification by saying that what I think you are doing is fabelhaft. Too long has art in this institution suffered at decadent whims of the fine arts faculty. By asking the students of Réjean Pinard High to submit their own ideas for this year’s musical, you have finally struck upon the core of art as such in the high school, namely, the will of the homerooms.

The hallways are a-buzz with excitement. Revolution is in the air. Barricades are being built with stacks of Houghton-Mifflin textbooks. No longer are the students afraid to step out of the bounds of Messrs. Rogers, Hammerstein, Walt, and Disney. I have already heard Stephanie Young promoting her feminist production of The Second Shepherd’s Play, and likewise have been told Aziz Al-Bukhari is planning a submission of the Threepenny Opera intent on satirizing his demotion to a nameless beggar during last year’s Oliver Twist show.

These are steps in the right direction, but in my opinion they do not go far enough. I learned in Ancient Civ last week that the Greeks fused drama and music together, not as a means to raise money for corrupt student council elections or to send the lacrosse team to Brampton, but as a catharsis of the ceremonial guilt for the community in toto.

The Story of My Musical Is:

Like much of high school, The Ring is a story of Greed, Power, Fear, Destruction, and Redemption through Love. Let me describe it for you as it must open. Das Rheingold, first of the tetralogy. The banks of the Rhine. Four giant kiddie pools. As the paper- mâché mist clears, three figures are apparent, LOLing in the innocence of nature. These are the Rhinemaidens, their braces glinting in the sunlight. Out of the caves of Nibelheim a nasty dwarf assaults them…I am thinking that nerd in 9^th grade, Kevin Sakomoto, you know, with the calculator watch? Dragging his rolling back-pack onstage, he is rejected, steals the precious Rhinegold (I have a whole box of Ferrero Rocher from last Christmas we can use) and renounces love for the malicious power of the gold. And from there, the Particle Board Walls of Walhall rise in the background…Wotan, Head Boy of the Gods, and his Head Girl, Fricka, begin the high tragedy…

My Staging Requirements Are:

As you can imagine, a drama of such magnitude will simply not be possible to put on in our humble cafetorium. We must have a new theater free from the smell of fries; an outdoor amphitheater on the majestic banks of Crayfish Creek. I have petitioned the fine arts classes and all agree that the rugby field is an appropriate site for construction. Please see the plans on the graph paper stapled after page 2. We must not mind the backlash from the Prussian rugby team, their Bismarck of a coach, or any other enemies of true High School kultur.

Some Fund Raising Ideas I Have Are:

Of course the funding is another question. You realize that no production of the Ring cycle since its premiere in 1876 has ever broken even. Extra funds will definitely need to be provided. I propose that all proceeds from the various bake sales and organic coffee drives be diverted from their usual channels into the high arts. It may also be necessary to cancel dances, “The Prom”, and other imported customs in order to maintain the sacred aura of our institution – this is no mere musical, after all. We are trying to found a Festival. Réjean Pinard High must rival Bayreuth. This is my vision for us – stand with me! For the Twilight of the Jocks is upon us.