University of Toronto, 2871.
[A medical lecture hall. A full class filled with side-burned human students banging on the desks screaming "Send em home! Get rid of them!"]
Professor: Gentlewomyn, gentlewomyn, please! And so, THIS fruit, which I regret I cannot name because of the presence of these members of the INFERIOR SPECIES, who could not possibly endure-"
[Human students smirk jauntily and twirl their burns]
Monkey 1: Patience Bongo!
[Human students keep screaming, banging on desks]
Monkey 1: PATIENCE Bongo...
[Bongo stands up dramatically]
Bongo: DOCTOR MACFARLANE
Professor: Bongo??
Bongo: If you don't keep this classroom under control, I am going to repeat every word of this disgusting lecture to your charming monkey wife!
[Bongo hobbles over to diagram of a banana tree, rips off the piece of paper covering the banana and storms off]
Narrator: Bongo would become the first monkey to practice medicine in Canada.
PART OF OUR NEO-HERITAGE
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
The Ride of the Gribbichungs - An Einzelskizzen
Sketch for a Drama:
Deep, deep, in the depths of the river Groin, a bunch of water swirls to and fro. A mighty rock protrudes from the surface of the water. The water, swirling, swirls it's way around the mighty rock. The sun glistens on the water and the rock. Deep in the depths, a swirly bit of foam makes it's way to the base of the rock.
E flat major.
A flatulent sea lion throws himself against the rock.
The swirling waters are disturbed. Three beautiful nymphs emerge from the depths. These are the Groin Maidens, the incarnations of nature and bumblebees and happy sea horses. You notice, at the top of the rock around which these nymphs are noodling, a shiny, golden, rock like substance. It is the Groin-Cabbage.
Major triad in E Marmite and Melba.
The Groin Maidens continue the cotillion. A cavern, heretofore unnoticed (though no faults of its own, it is a perfectly fine cavern as far as caverns go) produces an unsightly dwarfish creature: a dwarf.
His name is Badmintonerich. He makes for the groin maidens. He isn't all that lucky. He steals their Groin-Cabbage. The Cabbage is cursed. Well, not cursed per se. But certainly cursed if fashioned into jewelry. Certainly cursed if fashioned into a RING.
Minor chord. The broth thickens.
Cue the apocalypse.
Deep, deep, in the depths of the river Groin, a bunch of water swirls to and fro. A mighty rock protrudes from the surface of the water. The water, swirling, swirls it's way around the mighty rock. The sun glistens on the water and the rock. Deep in the depths, a swirly bit of foam makes it's way to the base of the rock.
E flat major.
A flatulent sea lion throws himself against the rock.
The swirling waters are disturbed. Three beautiful nymphs emerge from the depths. These are the Groin Maidens, the incarnations of nature and bumblebees and happy sea horses. You notice, at the top of the rock around which these nymphs are noodling, a shiny, golden, rock like substance. It is the Groin-Cabbage.
Major triad in E Marmite and Melba.
The Groin Maidens continue the cotillion. A cavern, heretofore unnoticed (though no faults of its own, it is a perfectly fine cavern as far as caverns go) produces an unsightly dwarfish creature: a dwarf.
His name is Badmintonerich. He makes for the groin maidens. He isn't all that lucky. He steals their Groin-Cabbage. The Cabbage is cursed. Well, not cursed per se. But certainly cursed if fashioned into jewelry. Certainly cursed if fashioned into a RING.
Minor chord. The broth thickens.
Cue the apocalypse.
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