"Yeezus" - Kanye West (God You Are Almost 30 Album Reviews)

Yeezus. What can I say besides "gesundheit"? I'd try "bless you", but KanYahweh's self-proclaimed ascension to the holy trinity may render that particular courtesy redundant, if not outright heretical. So don your Sunday best, pack-up your picnic latkes and waffles, and let's see what the sanctum sanctorum has to offer by way of fly ass Te Deums.

1. On Sightly - The initial track, produced by the re-animated corpse of French operetta sensation Maurice Chevalier, reminds one slightly of that first Alexander Graham Bell telephone call across the Atlantic -especially Ye's highly allusive autotuned chorus of:

 "Watson I need you / need you at my BBQ"

Combined, of course, with a basso continuo sampled straight from Pachabel. A high energy start to say the least.

2. Hebreo-Nazi - This is the song that drew so much controversy on Yeezy before it was even released, not because of its tasteful title, but rather because of his attention-grabbing release of the song on the broadside of a Shanghai squid-freight. The locals, assuming some black magic was in play (and indeed it was), immediately set fire to the S.S. Maorilyn Maonroe. DefJam later generously made good the damages by providing the disgruntled sailors with 2 pairs of Red Yeezy sneakers.

3. I Am Gorsh (What I Yam) - Despite what you may think, the title is not a reference to the phrase of the Old Testament GOD* ("I am what I am"), but rather to the mantra of proto-rapper and original O.G.G, Popeye the Sailor. As Ye clearly indicates on the track,

"The only rapper who compared to Popeye / Dukes in the air with my surly cockeye".

I think we can confidently say that, with the proper Hermeneutical analysis, this song betrays no sense of inflated-ego in any way, shape, or form.

* For a discussion of the finer points of Ye's particular brand of Christianity, see the upcoming monograph by the learned Raplick theologian and critical scholar Herr Doktor Gerhardt Fledermaus. The good doctor argues, from a solid basis of philological examination, for the ARIANISM of Yeezus in particular: "I know he the most high / but I am a close high" etc.

4. New Sleighs - The production on this song stands out as particularly bangin', so I'd like to shout out to Kanye's amazing producer Santa Claus.

"I know that we ride new sleighs / I see the snow on the leaves / y'all children don't fuck with me / I got a list o y'all see".

5. Hold my Licorice - Purists decried the rumours that this song would feature the 18 year old gangster, drug dealer, and Hague convicted war-criminal Justin Bieber. In the end, the young scallywag delivers a mean verse about the perils of consuming too many pixie sticks at designated historical sites. Rumours were that this song would also feature R&B veterans Finn the Human and Jake the Dog of Adventure Time fame, but alas the dynamic duo seem to have been left out on the cutting room floor.

All in all, Yeezus sits on that oft confused line between happy-go-lucky pop album and Breivik-esque theologico-political manifesto. The cold, hard minimalist use of barnyard animal orchestras and ambient Spanish flamenco canto juogo only heighten the fact that Kanye has gone the more conservative and listener-friendly route in preparation for his new role as "father", both of a baby, the Internet/Culture/Sneakers, and as "God The". Sleep well in your Benz crib little West, for your father who art in heaven  still be ill as fuck.