Plain Cornflakes, or, The Vagaries of Cereal Dating

“To a patio, yes! To a patio!

To a patio must we go!

To a patio, with a pitcher!

I declare it must be so.”

We agree to meet in the afternoon

On a patio for a beer.

A guy who couldn’t agree to that

(She felt) was kinda queer.

We agree to meet anywhere downtown

So long as it had a patio.

A guy who couldn’t agree to that

(She felt) was lacking Ratio.

She loves quinoa (and don’t you know!)

She loves to do photography.

Her ideal man (or chick) must boast:

Tattoos and good orthography.

Oh a lovely, lovely patio

Dear sir, (I heard her sigh)

A beer and a patio right ‘bout now

Oh sir, and I could die!

She’s “fun-loving” and “down to earth”

And “totally easy going”.

(I don’t know what she meant and I

Felt awkward for not knowing.)

Supposedly she “loves to read”

When she “has the time, but any-waaay...”

She’s read at least one book, I’m sure,

One book by Ernest Hemingway.

“Ah, patty, oh patty, how pretty-o!

Underneath an umbrella and drinking

A lovely old beer on St. Patty-o’s

What else could a woman be thinking?”

She loves to visit far-off lands

And she loves to get outdoors.

She loves so many lovely things -

But a patio! Nothing more!

Ah girls, I know you’re interesting…

Pardon my non-complacency.

I`m glad you all have likes but must

You be so damn Renaissancy?

Ah girls I know you love things

So much as loving’s able

So won’t you settle for a cup of wine

And a notched-up picnic table?

Oh men of the world who would date

And would catch you a fish on the line

Just hook on a “patio” as bait

And you’ll do (as I see it) just fine.