King Goujian and the Toad

Goujian, King of ancient Yué

Despaired at the cowardice of his Grande Armée;

He was at a loss how to inspire

Their milksop hearts with fire

And like heroes how to risk their lives

Instead of grumbling about their crops and their wives.

One day, while leading his corps

He discerned a green splotch near the hooves of his horse.

On inspection the ribbitin'

Revealed an amphibian,

A toad who, enraged at the army approaching

(Finding its men to be rudely encroaching)

Got up on its hind quarters

And beat its chest to drive off the invaders.

The King, so impressed with this bellicose brute

Clasped his hands in a full military salute.

“Hail, brave toad,” he solemnly declared

“Who, though outnumbered, are not at all scared;

If only my men were as fearless as you

We’d have nothing to fear from the Kingdom of Wu.”

Whereupon he lowered his bonnet

And coaxed the toad upon it

Thus to flatter the creature with grandeur

Admitting it singly to his Legion D’Honneur.

His men, shamed by the honour the toad got

Became fearless of fire, and arrow, and sword-cut.

They drove off any foe that got in their way;
Acting something quite Prussian for soldiers from Yué.